Lord, make me more stubborn

"But it won't work that way with the family of Israel. They won't listen to you because they won't listen to me. They are, as I said, a hard case, hardened in their sin. But I'll make you as hard in your way as they are in theirs. I'll make your face as hard as rock, harder than granite. Don't let them intimidate you. Don't be afraid of them, even though they're a bunch of rebels." -Ezekiel 3:7-9 (The Message, emphasis added)

At first, this seems like a pretty strange passage to me. I mean, who wants their face to be as hard as a rock? C'mon God, make my abs as hard as a rock, maybe, but my face?

But, what a cool thing God did for Ezekiel. He was sending him to speak to the Israelites and warn them about their sin. But in His sovereignty, God knew they would be stubborn about it, so he promised to make Ezekiel more stubborn.

I have to tell you that so many times, when I find myself in a similar situation, I pray about the others. I pray for the ones I'm speaking to and say, "Lord, soften their hearts. Help them see it my way."

But, maybe God wants to teach me something sometimes by making people stubborn. Maybe people who don't just follow me blindly are meant to test my perserverance. Maybe I should pray for God to change me more than I pray for Him to change other people. Like Ezekiel, I need to ask him to make my face harder than granite. After all, as James wrote, "You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way." -James 1:2-3 (the Message)

I want to be mature and complete. I want not to be deficient in any way. So, Lord, make me more stubborn.

And, about those abs...

Sagging skin and brittle bones

You're all I want in heaven!
You're all I want on earth!
When my skin sags and my bones get brittle,
God is rock-firm and faithful. - Psalm 73:25-26 (The Message)

So, I slept on a heating pad last night. After Saturday's race, it seems my back and neck took the brunt of the abuse, not my legs. Lately, I have had stiff necks, sore backs, and when I get up in the morning, I can only shuffle my feet like Tim Conway's old man on The Carol Burnett Show.



A couple weeks shy of 38, I sometimes feel like I am 60. It's enough to make me look forward to my new body.

But this Psalm is encouraging to me. Even when my skin sags and my bones get brittle, God is rock-firm and faithful. The King James says, "My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion forever." What a beautiful idea that even when we are weak, he stands strong. In fact, I find when I am the weakest is when he is best able to show his strength.

A couple of weeks ago, I met with some ladies visiting the US from Ukraine. They run a ministry there that counsels women against having abortions, then helps them acquire skills so they can work and support their children. By God's grace, they acquired a piece of land in their town, and are praying about building a rehabilitation hospital on the plot. The Americans in the room got very excited about helping out with this and were asking questions about how much it would cost, how would they raise the money, what kind of timeline they had, etc. The women got very silent, then one looked across the table, pointed her finger and, with a very serious look, said, "Only God can build this building." Wow! What faith. When we are weak, He is strong.

In America, we have so much, our reliance on God is often secondary to our reliance on ourselves. We go to work, we make money, we buy things, we solve problems, we help people, we try to fix things and people and situations. In the places in the world where they just don't have the resources, they rely on God more. In the U.S., we often rely on God only when we can't do something ourselves.

We work so hard to make ourselves strong. Maybe, we need to take time to make ourselves weak, so He can show His strength. Maybe instead of building ourselves up, we need to tear ourselves down, and let Him rebuild us. Maybe we need to become less so God can become more in our lives.

Don't get me wrong... I don't like having a weak body. But, if it means I trust God more- that He must become the strength of my heart and my portion forever- then go ahead and break my bones.