The dangers of an authentic life

Well, I've learned a lesson this week. Maybe a few.

A few years after I first started following Christ as an adult, I got introduced to a church that values authenicity. Actually, to say it like that kind of undersells the concept. This church believed and lived the ideal that you can be who you are, in any circumstance, you are who God made you and how He made you, and to pretend to be anything else is to deny your maker. I bought in hook, line and sinker. In fact, around that same time was when I first started having a presence online. Because of my belief in the importance of authenticity and transparency, I decided I would live my online life just like my real life... no alias, no persona. I have never had an e-mail like BigHotDaddy@... or IronMan2632@... My e-mails, this Blog, my Facebook page all have my real name. No hiding. I see this as a kind of accountability for me. By doing this, I can live a life of integrity everywhere, even among those who don't know me.

Well, I started to doubt my decision this week when I found out that I was being cyber-stalked. Someone (I think I know who, though I won't say) had been going through my FB pages, looking for anything that could be inflammatory or insulting when taken out of context. It was sad to me, too, because I like working with her. I also have a very important job, caring for people I love at a company I love, and there have been some really tough times there this year. But, this person implied (and probably really believed) that what I had written (and when) made me unfit for my job. Fortunately, the people who saw it know me well enough not to doubt my intentions, but it made me recoil. In fact, my immediate response was to make everything private. I protected this Blog, my FB page, I unfriended anyone at work (sorry to my friends there). I acted just how I would have if I'd been physically attacked.

Over the last two days, though, my response is changing. I need to not let the fact that someone doesn't want to see me succeed not change who I am. Those of you who know me well, I think, know that I am not insensitive, callous, or mean. I am, however, sarchastic, and I can be prideful. Very prideful, and I need to let Christ work in that area of my life. But, I will not go subterranean.

Many of you have told me that something on these blog pages has touched you. Several of you have enjoyed reading my race reports from time to time. And, I think it's cool that some people may be attracted to a Jesus who is madly in love with them just because some offbeat, occasionally funny runner writes about Him sometimes.

So, what have I learned? Well, being authentic is dangerous. Just as it allows you not to surprise anyone when they get to know you, it allows people who don't know you to see into all your junk. I still think that's a better way to live, and it's how God commands us (Ephesians 4:25 says, "So put away all falsehood and tell your neighbor the truth, because we belong to each other"). But, I have realized that what you write online can be seen and misused by anyone. I have also seen that people's perception can vary far from reality, and the more visible you are, the higher standard to which you are held. As a friend told me this week, "just realize your audience is bigger than you perceive." And I do.

I've also learned that not everyone will like you. No matter how much you want that.

So, if you've been offended by something I've written here or elsewhere, I can assure you I didn't mean that. Search anything I've written- you'll not find a hint of profanity, sexism, racism or insult (except to my friends, all meant in love). Unless, that is, you're offended because of something I've written about Jesus. Then, if your offended, maybe it's not my fault.

Leadership author and speaker John Maxwell says his definition of success is when the people that know him best are the ones that like him most. I like that definition. I don't think it's always like that for politicians or movie actors, but I hope it is for me.

Thanks for reading, and peace.
Steve