Tuesday, June 30, 2009
MOVE updates
If you're looking for MOVE conference updates, follow me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/stevewallen or on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/steve.wallen Can't really blog from here.
Friday, June 26, 2009
3 days until camp
Just 3 more days until we leave with the high school students from Genesis Church to go to Move camp in Holland, Michigan. Once again this year, I will be blogging each day from the camp (assuming I can grab an internet connection somewhere) so parents and interested parties can keep up with our good times, crazy fun, and what we learn.
Stay tuned!
Steve
Stay tuned!
Steve
Saturday, June 20, 2009
The dangers of an authentic life
Well, I've learned a lesson this week. Maybe a few.
A few years after I first started following Christ as an adult, I got introduced to a church that values authenicity. Actually, to say it like that kind of undersells the concept. This church believed and lived the ideal that you can be who you are, in any circumstance, you are who God made you and how He made you, and to pretend to be anything else is to deny your maker. I bought in hook, line and sinker. In fact, around that same time was when I first started having a presence online. Because of my belief in the importance of authenticity and transparency, I decided I would live my online life just like my real life... no alias, no persona. I have never had an e-mail like BigHotDaddy@... or IronMan2632@... My e-mails, this Blog, my Facebook page all have my real name. No hiding. I see this as a kind of accountability for me. By doing this, I can live a life of integrity everywhere, even among those who don't know me.
Well, I started to doubt my decision this week when I found out that I was being cyber-stalked. Someone (I think I know who, though I won't say) had been going through my FB pages, looking for anything that could be inflammatory or insulting when taken out of context. It was sad to me, too, because I like working with her. I also have a very important job, caring for people I love at a company I love, and there have been some really tough times there this year. But, this person implied (and probably really believed) that what I had written (and when) made me unfit for my job. Fortunately, the people who saw it know me well enough not to doubt my intentions, but it made me recoil. In fact, my immediate response was to make everything private. I protected this Blog, my FB page, I unfriended anyone at work (sorry to my friends there). I acted just how I would have if I'd been physically attacked.
Over the last two days, though, my response is changing. I need to not let the fact that someone doesn't want to see me succeed not change who I am. Those of you who know me well, I think, know that I am not insensitive, callous, or mean. I am, however, sarchastic, and I can be prideful. Very prideful, and I need to let Christ work in that area of my life. But, I will not go subterranean.
Many of you have told me that something on these blog pages has touched you. Several of you have enjoyed reading my race reports from time to time. And, I think it's cool that some people may be attracted to a Jesus who is madly in love with them just because some offbeat, occasionally funny runner writes about Him sometimes.
So, what have I learned? Well, being authentic is dangerous. Just as it allows you not to surprise anyone when they get to know you, it allows people who don't know you to see into all your junk. I still think that's a better way to live, and it's how God commands us (Ephesians 4:25 says, "So put away all falsehood and tell your neighbor the truth, because we belong to each other"). But, I have realized that what you write online can be seen and misused by anyone. I have also seen that people's perception can vary far from reality, and the more visible you are, the higher standard to which you are held. As a friend told me this week, "just realize your audience is bigger than you perceive." And I do.
I've also learned that not everyone will like you. No matter how much you want that.
So, if you've been offended by something I've written here or elsewhere, I can assure you I didn't mean that. Search anything I've written- you'll not find a hint of profanity, sexism, racism or insult (except to my friends, all meant in love). Unless, that is, you're offended because of something I've written about Jesus. Then, if your offended, maybe it's not my fault.
Leadership author and speaker John Maxwell says his definition of success is when the people that know him best are the ones that like him most. I like that definition. I don't think it's always like that for politicians or movie actors, but I hope it is for me.
Thanks for reading, and peace.
Steve
A few years after I first started following Christ as an adult, I got introduced to a church that values authenicity. Actually, to say it like that kind of undersells the concept. This church believed and lived the ideal that you can be who you are, in any circumstance, you are who God made you and how He made you, and to pretend to be anything else is to deny your maker. I bought in hook, line and sinker. In fact, around that same time was when I first started having a presence online. Because of my belief in the importance of authenticity and transparency, I decided I would live my online life just like my real life... no alias, no persona. I have never had an e-mail like BigHotDaddy@... or IronMan2632@... My e-mails, this Blog, my Facebook page all have my real name. No hiding. I see this as a kind of accountability for me. By doing this, I can live a life of integrity everywhere, even among those who don't know me.
Well, I started to doubt my decision this week when I found out that I was being cyber-stalked. Someone (I think I know who, though I won't say) had been going through my FB pages, looking for anything that could be inflammatory or insulting when taken out of context. It was sad to me, too, because I like working with her. I also have a very important job, caring for people I love at a company I love, and there have been some really tough times there this year. But, this person implied (and probably really believed) that what I had written (and when) made me unfit for my job. Fortunately, the people who saw it know me well enough not to doubt my intentions, but it made me recoil. In fact, my immediate response was to make everything private. I protected this Blog, my FB page, I unfriended anyone at work (sorry to my friends there). I acted just how I would have if I'd been physically attacked.
Over the last two days, though, my response is changing. I need to not let the fact that someone doesn't want to see me succeed not change who I am. Those of you who know me well, I think, know that I am not insensitive, callous, or mean. I am, however, sarchastic, and I can be prideful. Very prideful, and I need to let Christ work in that area of my life. But, I will not go subterranean.
Many of you have told me that something on these blog pages has touched you. Several of you have enjoyed reading my race reports from time to time. And, I think it's cool that some people may be attracted to a Jesus who is madly in love with them just because some offbeat, occasionally funny runner writes about Him sometimes.
So, what have I learned? Well, being authentic is dangerous. Just as it allows you not to surprise anyone when they get to know you, it allows people who don't know you to see into all your junk. I still think that's a better way to live, and it's how God commands us (Ephesians 4:25 says, "So put away all falsehood and tell your neighbor the truth, because we belong to each other"). But, I have realized that what you write online can be seen and misused by anyone. I have also seen that people's perception can vary far from reality, and the more visible you are, the higher standard to which you are held. As a friend told me this week, "just realize your audience is bigger than you perceive." And I do.
I've also learned that not everyone will like you. No matter how much you want that.
So, if you've been offended by something I've written here or elsewhere, I can assure you I didn't mean that. Search anything I've written- you'll not find a hint of profanity, sexism, racism or insult (except to my friends, all meant in love). Unless, that is, you're offended because of something I've written about Jesus. Then, if your offended, maybe it's not my fault.
Leadership author and speaker John Maxwell says his definition of success is when the people that know him best are the ones that like him most. I like that definition. I don't think it's always like that for politicians or movie actors, but I hope it is for me.
Thanks for reading, and peace.
Steve
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Race report- Madison Marathon
Okay, this one's a week or so late because we were on vacation, then I was working on a message for church last week. But, I wanted to write down my thoughts about the Madison Marathon on May 24. The short version: I ran a personal best 3:57:51 (in only my second marathon) and was able to walk the next day. Now here's the slightly longer version.
When I started considering a marathon late last fall, I was looking for one that was (1) driving distance (2) in a place I hadn't been, and (3) after the Indy Mini with enough time to recover, but not enough that I would lose my fitness. Madison fit right in- 5 hour drive, and 3 weeks after the Mini. Truth be known, I would have liked another week to allow for one more long run, but even more truth be known... I don't know if I could have run a 20 miler the week after the Mini anyway.
We drove up Saturday morning and arrived at the hotel right around 4:00, which was check-in time. We parked at the hotel and walked to the expo, and I was pleased to find out that our hotel was indeed walking distance to both the start and finish lines. This would work out well logistically, as I could walk to the start and my family could walk to the finish and watch me limp in. The expo was nice, but fairly small compared to the Indy Mini, and it was then I realized how small this race actually was. In a good way.
Sunday morning, I woke up at 5:20, 10 minutes before my alarm went off. I slept well from about 9:30, so that was nice. I ate two granola bars, drank a bottle of water, and went for a walk/jog through the parking lot and the finish line. I determined the finish was about a half mile from the hotel entrance, which would work fine.
I arrived at the start area about 7:00, 30 minutes before the start. The weather was perfect for running- 52 degrees, cloudy, and no wind. I looked for and found the 3:40 pace group. My plan was to run with them as long as I could, then hang on to make it under 4 hours. By this time, though, I had raised my expectations and thought maybe 3:40 was possible. Well, I introduced myself to a couple of the pacers, got a good look at them to know who I was following, then the gun went off. About 1,500 of us left the line, and ran around the Alliant energy center parking lot, off onto the road and we were at a mile before I knew it, just a tad slow. Okay, though. By close to mile two, I couldn't belive the crowd wasn't breaking up more... it felt like I was running with 15,000 people, not 1,500. I was feeling clausterphobic and had to get out. I ran up about 15 feet in front of the 3:40 pace group and all of a sudden, I felt I was running alone. This was more like it. I was very comfortable, enjoying views of Lake Monona, then the capital, then the University of Wisconsin. Five miles went by in 41:30 (8:18 miles), right on time. As we ran, I took note of a couple things to come back for with my family... a frozen custard stand (4.5 miles), a beautiful house being built on Lake Wingra (8.5 miles) and the zoo (9.5 miles).
When we exited the UW Arboretum and turned by the zoo, I couldn't believe the crowd there to cheer us on. There must have been close to a thousand people lining the path, yelling and screaming, ringing cowbells, and shouting our names, which were printed in large type on our bibs. It was very energizing.
I ran through the half in 1:48, which would have been a PR for me a month ago, but was just about on plan for the marathon. One more of those, and I'd run a 3:36. That would be awesome! But, it was not to be. At about mile 15.5, I walked the aid station. I had carried a pack of Clif Shot Bloks with me, and a honey stinger gel. I had planned to take a gel or some energy food every 6 miles, and I had hoped to pick one up at the 4 mile station, but I passed right by it. So, I had to be careful with my calorie intake, and now I knew I was off my plan, but I couldn't remember when I was supposed to eat again. So, I walked, took some Gatorade, and poured some water over my head (it was getting warmer now). I started running again with no problem until mile 17. As we ran around the Maple Bluff country club, we hit the longest/steepest hill on the course. It drove me to a walk, and I never recovered. Between 17.5 and 22, I was reduced to a pattern of walk 1 minute, run 2 minutes, or some variation thereof. The bottom line is there was about a five-mile stretch where I ran only about 2/3 of it.
By mile 22.5 or so, we were running along the shore of Lake Mendota, sharing a bike path with people out enjoying the beautiful day. The mix of more people, nice lake views, and proximity to the finish line drove me to run more. Now, I would walk one minute and run four. I just kept repeating to myself, "This is what all your training was for. This is why you spent so much time away from your family. This is something you can do!"
At mile 25, I started running and didn't stop again. Just before 26, we re-entered the Alliant energy center, and as I ran toward the finish, I started looking for my family in the crowd. As I passed 26, I saw them and realized we'd never arrived on where we would meet. I waved, though, and my girls got to see me finish, which was great. As I approached the finish line, I finally saw the clock and it started with a four. I was a little bummed, but not surprised considering how much I'd walked. Then I realized- that was the 1/2 marathon clock- they started 30 minutes before us. On the other side of the finish line was the marathon clock, and it was at 3:56. I was going to do it! I crossed the line at 3:58:17. I wasn't wearing my watch, but I knew it had been about 30 seconds before I'd crossed the start line, so I was safely under four hours. I grabbed a chocolate milk, hobbled back to find my family, and started to think. My first response surprised me. Instead of the usual, "I'm not doing that again," I thought, "I can probably take 20 minutes off that time if I work at it."
So, I'm really excited to see what's next for my running. The last two weeks I've run, bicycled, and lifted weights without a plan. Now, I'm in training for a 4.5 miler on the 4th, but I'm considering what to do in the fall... another marathon? Fast half-marathon? Ultra? Thoughts, anyone?
When I started considering a marathon late last fall, I was looking for one that was (1) driving distance (2) in a place I hadn't been, and (3) after the Indy Mini with enough time to recover, but not enough that I would lose my fitness. Madison fit right in- 5 hour drive, and 3 weeks after the Mini. Truth be known, I would have liked another week to allow for one more long run, but even more truth be known... I don't know if I could have run a 20 miler the week after the Mini anyway.
We drove up Saturday morning and arrived at the hotel right around 4:00, which was check-in time. We parked at the hotel and walked to the expo, and I was pleased to find out that our hotel was indeed walking distance to both the start and finish lines. This would work out well logistically, as I could walk to the start and my family could walk to the finish and watch me limp in. The expo was nice, but fairly small compared to the Indy Mini, and it was then I realized how small this race actually was. In a good way.
Sunday morning, I woke up at 5:20, 10 minutes before my alarm went off. I slept well from about 9:30, so that was nice. I ate two granola bars, drank a bottle of water, and went for a walk/jog through the parking lot and the finish line. I determined the finish was about a half mile from the hotel entrance, which would work fine.
I arrived at the start area about 7:00, 30 minutes before the start. The weather was perfect for running- 52 degrees, cloudy, and no wind. I looked for and found the 3:40 pace group. My plan was to run with them as long as I could, then hang on to make it under 4 hours. By this time, though, I had raised my expectations and thought maybe 3:40 was possible. Well, I introduced myself to a couple of the pacers, got a good look at them to know who I was following, then the gun went off. About 1,500 of us left the line, and ran around the Alliant energy center parking lot, off onto the road and we were at a mile before I knew it, just a tad slow. Okay, though. By close to mile two, I couldn't belive the crowd wasn't breaking up more... it felt like I was running with 15,000 people, not 1,500. I was feeling clausterphobic and had to get out. I ran up about 15 feet in front of the 3:40 pace group and all of a sudden, I felt I was running alone. This was more like it. I was very comfortable, enjoying views of Lake Monona, then the capital, then the University of Wisconsin. Five miles went by in 41:30 (8:18 miles), right on time. As we ran, I took note of a couple things to come back for with my family... a frozen custard stand (4.5 miles), a beautiful house being built on Lake Wingra (8.5 miles) and the zoo (9.5 miles).
When we exited the UW Arboretum and turned by the zoo, I couldn't believe the crowd there to cheer us on. There must have been close to a thousand people lining the path, yelling and screaming, ringing cowbells, and shouting our names, which were printed in large type on our bibs. It was very energizing.
I ran through the half in 1:48, which would have been a PR for me a month ago, but was just about on plan for the marathon. One more of those, and I'd run a 3:36. That would be awesome! But, it was not to be. At about mile 15.5, I walked the aid station. I had carried a pack of Clif Shot Bloks with me, and a honey stinger gel. I had planned to take a gel or some energy food every 6 miles, and I had hoped to pick one up at the 4 mile station, but I passed right by it. So, I had to be careful with my calorie intake, and now I knew I was off my plan, but I couldn't remember when I was supposed to eat again. So, I walked, took some Gatorade, and poured some water over my head (it was getting warmer now). I started running again with no problem until mile 17. As we ran around the Maple Bluff country club, we hit the longest/steepest hill on the course. It drove me to a walk, and I never recovered. Between 17.5 and 22, I was reduced to a pattern of walk 1 minute, run 2 minutes, or some variation thereof. The bottom line is there was about a five-mile stretch where I ran only about 2/3 of it.
By mile 22.5 or so, we were running along the shore of Lake Mendota, sharing a bike path with people out enjoying the beautiful day. The mix of more people, nice lake views, and proximity to the finish line drove me to run more. Now, I would walk one minute and run four. I just kept repeating to myself, "This is what all your training was for. This is why you spent so much time away from your family. This is something you can do!"
At mile 25, I started running and didn't stop again. Just before 26, we re-entered the Alliant energy center, and as I ran toward the finish, I started looking for my family in the crowd. As I passed 26, I saw them and realized we'd never arrived on where we would meet. I waved, though, and my girls got to see me finish, which was great. As I approached the finish line, I finally saw the clock and it started with a four. I was a little bummed, but not surprised considering how much I'd walked. Then I realized- that was the 1/2 marathon clock- they started 30 minutes before us. On the other side of the finish line was the marathon clock, and it was at 3:56. I was going to do it! I crossed the line at 3:58:17. I wasn't wearing my watch, but I knew it had been about 30 seconds before I'd crossed the start line, so I was safely under four hours. I grabbed a chocolate milk, hobbled back to find my family, and started to think. My first response surprised me. Instead of the usual, "I'm not doing that again," I thought, "I can probably take 20 minutes off that time if I work at it."
So, I'm really excited to see what's next for my running. The last two weeks I've run, bicycled, and lifted weights without a plan. Now, I'm in training for a 4.5 miler on the 4th, but I'm considering what to do in the fall... another marathon? Fast half-marathon? Ultra? Thoughts, anyone?
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Lesson about success
I, Nebuchadnezzar, was at home in my palace, contented and prosperous. -Daniel 4:4
Okay, stop right here. This really makes me mad. King Nebucadnezzar, the evil one, sitting in his palace contented and prosperous. Not bothered by the outside world. Not enough compassion to be concerned about the abuses happening in his kingdom. He just sits in his palace, rich and happy, after all the destruction he's caused. And this is the first lesson about success, and it may go against everything you think you know about God.
God sometimes grants success to people who don’t follow Him.
This story in particular is about Nebucadnezzar, and we know he wasn’t a nice man. I mean the book of Daniel tells a little about him, but to really know the King’s whole story, you have to go to 2 Chronicles.
He (God) brought up against them the king of the Babylonians, who killed their young men with the sword in the sanctuary, and spared neither young man nor young woman, old man or aged. God handed all of them over to Nebuchadnezzar. He carried to Babylon all the articles from the temple of God, both large and small, and the treasures of the LORD's temple and the treasures of the king and his officials. They set fire to God's temple and broke down the wall of Jerusalem; they burned all the palaces and destroyed everything of value there.
He carried into exile to Babylon the remnant, who escaped from the sword, and they became servants to him and his sons until the kingdom of Persia came to power. -2 Chronicles 36:17-21
So, here’s a guy that raided the city of Jerusalem. He killed everyone he could, enslaved those he couldn’t. He took all their stuff and carried it off to Babylon- their gold, their livestock, everything of value, and burned the rest of the city. This man, this ancient-day Hitler, is sitting in his place, content and prosperous. And look at verse 17 again: He, God, delivered this into the hands of Nebucadnezzar. See, I don’t understand why, but God sometimes gives success to people who don’t follow him, so what does that mean for you and me. Well, consider this. Maybe just because you’re having success as the world sees it doesn’t mean you’re following God’s will. This is huge!
I mean, I hear this a lot- God is really blessing this area of my life. I’m so glad I took that new job because, even though I’m away from my family a lot more, I’m making a lot more money, so God is really blessing that. Or, my husband and I are separated, but I’ve met this new guy, and he’s a believer, and I just know God wants me to end my marriage and go with him because this relationship is so much better than the one I have with my husband, so I know it’s God’s will. Or, yeah, I know I violate my principals sometimes when I hang out with those friends, but they really like me when I’m with them, and God wants me to be happy, right?
Well, I can’t tell you God’s will for your life, but let me tell you what I know about God’s will. God will never ever will for your life something that violates His word that he’s given us. If your understanding of God's will is different in anyway from what the bible says, who's more likely to be wrong? So, if you think God’s will is to be away from your family more just for more money, or to leave your husband or leave your wife for someone who understands you better, or to sin so you can be accepted by some so-called friends, I tell you that you are buying the world’s definition of success instead of God's.
Okay, stop right here. This really makes me mad. King Nebucadnezzar, the evil one, sitting in his palace contented and prosperous. Not bothered by the outside world. Not enough compassion to be concerned about the abuses happening in his kingdom. He just sits in his palace, rich and happy, after all the destruction he's caused. And this is the first lesson about success, and it may go against everything you think you know about God.
God sometimes grants success to people who don’t follow Him.
This story in particular is about Nebucadnezzar, and we know he wasn’t a nice man. I mean the book of Daniel tells a little about him, but to really know the King’s whole story, you have to go to 2 Chronicles.
He (God) brought up against them the king of the Babylonians, who killed their young men with the sword in the sanctuary, and spared neither young man nor young woman, old man or aged. God handed all of them over to Nebuchadnezzar. He carried to Babylon all the articles from the temple of God, both large and small, and the treasures of the LORD's temple and the treasures of the king and his officials. They set fire to God's temple and broke down the wall of Jerusalem; they burned all the palaces and destroyed everything of value there.
He carried into exile to Babylon the remnant, who escaped from the sword, and they became servants to him and his sons until the kingdom of Persia came to power. -2 Chronicles 36:17-21
So, here’s a guy that raided the city of Jerusalem. He killed everyone he could, enslaved those he couldn’t. He took all their stuff and carried it off to Babylon- their gold, their livestock, everything of value, and burned the rest of the city. This man, this ancient-day Hitler, is sitting in his place, content and prosperous. And look at verse 17 again: He, God, delivered this into the hands of Nebucadnezzar. See, I don’t understand why, but God sometimes gives success to people who don’t follow him, so what does that mean for you and me. Well, consider this. Maybe just because you’re having success as the world sees it doesn’t mean you’re following God’s will. This is huge!
I mean, I hear this a lot- God is really blessing this area of my life. I’m so glad I took that new job because, even though I’m away from my family a lot more, I’m making a lot more money, so God is really blessing that. Or, my husband and I are separated, but I’ve met this new guy, and he’s a believer, and I just know God wants me to end my marriage and go with him because this relationship is so much better than the one I have with my husband, so I know it’s God’s will. Or, yeah, I know I violate my principals sometimes when I hang out with those friends, but they really like me when I’m with them, and God wants me to be happy, right?
Well, I can’t tell you God’s will for your life, but let me tell you what I know about God’s will. God will never ever will for your life something that violates His word that he’s given us. If your understanding of God's will is different in anyway from what the bible says, who's more likely to be wrong? So, if you think God’s will is to be away from your family more just for more money, or to leave your husband or leave your wife for someone who understands you better, or to sin so you can be accepted by some so-called friends, I tell you that you are buying the world’s definition of success instead of God's.
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